its been sometime since i felt so sian. haha.today on the bus trip home, watched the tv program GLAM! they were interviewing rui en and joanne peh.it seems that rui en, throughout the middle of her graduate studies, suddenly realised that this isn't what she want, she's more suited for the showbiz. am i feeling the same way too? i'm not really sure. i enjoy school, studying for things i like but now seriously i see no point for my chemistry studies. sigh.. hmmmm... this is bad....
1) chemistry is my favourite subject amongst all my sciences (but must i definately go into science? whats wrong with arts? i enjoy my arts stuff more lo)
2) the degree is to make all these studying for years and years for my past 15 years of studying worth. but is it really that worthy?
3) i feel very very guilty for making my parents pay for my studies and yet i can't sit down and do what they paid for me to do. its a huge sum of money!!! but am i studying for myself or for them? i think a bit of both. i'll study,graduate and do them proud. after which i come out work liao, then go back and study wat i want? as if i have that much of money. sigh what is it really want?it seems everyone have their own mentality and mindset and goals all planned out, but i'm drifted neither here nor there. in the past, being the eldest, there's no one to advice, but i can still cope, but at this stage, who am i to turn to? my uncles and aunts? even they have conflicting ideas.my parents trust what i plan to do. the decision is mine.

these few days feel really really bad especially cause my dad, my mom, my borhter all left home to help with a new intake of goods,i'm not to go cause my dad wants me to study. but guess what i did, watch tv.only in the night, then i sat down to do my tutorial.. argh!!! what the **** am i doing.!!!
have to sit down and do work liao